LO5: Reflection on Script

Have the needs and expectations of the client brief and target audience been met?

For this unit I was asked to write a script, which I did as part of a group for the short film 'False Awakening'. False Awakening is an independent thriller/horror centred around a group of teenagers who go on a camping trip in the local woods. In the woods some mysterious events occur, most notably one member of the group (Dwayne) goes missing and is later presumed dead. The narrative ends when the 'killer' is killed by Stephen and the group realise that it was in fact Dwayne the whole time.The client asked that the script was at least 5 minutes long and included dialogue and diegetic and/or non-diegetic sound - I have met all of these guidelines.

The target audience for this short film were aged between 16 and 25. Because of this it was important that the dialogue stayed relevant to that target audience. The client's feedback showed a particular admiration for the camaraderie between the characters in the script. For example, in this scene (left) Stephen's sarcastic attitude reflects that of a typical young person, I think. 

The script also reflects the lifestyle of our target audience. Camping is a relatively low income thing to do. Our Target Audience fits in to the BC1C2 categories so this is something they would be able to do easily and realistically. This audience is slightly more male proportionally, with a male to female ratio of 60:40; this is also reflected in the script as there are two male characters and just one female character.

One thing which could be viewed negatively is the consumption of drugs. In this particular scene (left), Stephen prioritises drug use over the safety of his friend, which Jess agrees too. I believe our target audience are aware of the stereotypes around them and so would be able to identify with a situation like this. However, our younger target audience could still be influenced by this part of the script.

What were the clients likes and dislikes?

As said before, the client particularly liked the camaraderie between the characters. This helped the dialogue flow and helped make the relationships between the character believable. The Writers' Group also said that they like the very clear change in events; the script begins with equilibrium and ends in disequilibrium. This of course aids the narrative, as it is very clear to the audience which events are taking place and what those events are leading up to. The client did say, however, that though it is clear through camera work who the dominant character is - the distinctions between protagonist and antagonist do need to be clearer. The client also added that more intonation should be added to the script so it is clearer how dialogue should be delivered. 

This feedback was helpful because it helped us as a group decide what works in the script, and what perhaps doesn't work. For example, this scene (left) almost shows Stephen as a villain  because of his sarcastic character. In a way that was intentional, but as the client pointed out it makes it unclear as to who the antagonist really is as Dwayne is shown to have a similar persona earlier on in the script. To correct this I will need to change the dialogue so that Dwayne appears to be less sarcastic and perhaps more ignorant to Jess's feelings.

What relevant changes should be made to the script?

Changes that should be made to script mostly revolve around the way the dialogue is constructed. For the most part I will be changing the vocabulary in the characters dialogue or make additions that help the actor understand how those lines should be delivered. An example of this is in this scene (below). 

In this scene, the characters find (what the audience presumes to be) Dwayne's bloodied torch. Stephen's line is significant here because it shows that he is still not taking these events seriously, but the actor is not given any guidance as to how the line should be delivered.

One thing that The Writers' Group complimented was the realism within the script, so it is important that these lines are delivered the way they are intended to keep that realism in the final short film. Stephen's character is supposed to reflect the sarcasm and wit that is part of the stereotype that surrounds our young adult target audience. Another way to do this, and make the characters more relatable to the target audience, may be to add more regional dialect.

For example, Jess's dialogue here could be given more contractions so that it would read "Why, where'r ya goin'? ". Whilst this would be more relatable to the target audience, if the script is oversaturated with this type of dialogue it sound unintentionally comical.

Is the content of the product correct?

The contents of the product fits the requirement of the brief, the information presented in the script is relevant to the cast and crew who need to read it. The script details most of the information needed on set, including dialogue and camerawork, as well as detailing information needed during post-production such as editing techniques.

My research on existing scripts helped to create this script, and as such our script uses the conventional house style that is used in those scripts also. A courier font has been used and characters are indicated with capitalised lettering. This was a convention of 'My Mother Dreams a Satan's Disciple in New York'- the short film script I analysed. Also, like that script, I included information of the setting and time of day.

Information needed for post-production, such as transitions and sound effects are included in an abbreviated form and justified to the right, as they were in the scripts I analysed previously. 

Does the script meet legal and ethical requirements?

The script does not breach any copyright laws as the original content was created for the film of the same title, which does not take any other source as a basis. Therefore the script's content is solely owned by it's creators, which are the people within my group. Whilst the script does contain strong language, implied drug use and some violence the short film is aimed at people between the ages of 16-25 and therefore meets the standards set by the BBFC (British Board of Film Classification) as shown below and on their website. The music and non-diegetic sound suggested in the script is all sourced through Soundcloud and CC Mixter which both provide Creative Commons music and sounds. Creative Commons music can be used in the final film without breaching any copyright laws.


The script should not cause offence to anyone as it does not contain any form of discrimination. The only thing which I feel could cause offence is the representation of teenagers, however this is justified for the story and that they are fictional characters. The use of drugs and excessive use of bad language means that our film would have to be shown after watershed so that children are unlikely to see the film. The script for our short film is evidently not suitable for young children, but by looking at the BBFC guidelines it would be suitable for the 16-25 target audience and would be a 15 certificate.